Okay-let me just begin by saying, my sister has been writing a blog for some time now, and she is funny, wistful and deep. I am not! I figured I would try it out-wanted to bounce my thoughts around. My blog is basically going to be about my new life as a mommy and the everyday challenges that all parents face. And of course, all the drama that goes with being me!
Now next, let me say-I have always felt that being a stay at home mom must be one of the hardest jobs ever. I always admired moms who were chasing their children around Stop n Shop and still managing to look calm and put together.
After teaching 4th Grade for about 7 years, my husband and I decided that I would join the legions of these mommy warriors. This is something I had always dreamed of doing, but never thought was in the cards for me. Being a stay at home mom to my 17 mth old daughter was something I did in the summers and it had a definite ending in September. Now the idea of being home was a chance to fulfill a long time dream. I had a romantic ideal of the perfect stay at home mom! I would look fabulous like the moms I saw in the mall-pushing their quiet children while looking skinny and glamorous. I would NOT be the mom with the screaming child covered in some unknown food with the knotty hair with bad roots. I would not rely on large doses of caffeine to get through my day. I was a teacher after all-if I could control a room of 28 feisty 8 year olds, then one 17 mth old was no match for me.
THE ROMANCE HAS DIED! Don't get me wrong, I still love being home and am so happy to have the opportunity to see my daughter change each and every day. It is just that now, there is no definite ending, no back to school. I don't really know any other stay at home moms in my neighborhood, so most days it is just Teeny & me, all day, everyday. The "Mommy show" is not as interesting to my daughter as it had been in June. To break up our days, we attempted a Toddler gym class-Teeny had a great time, I was stressed. My daughter was the one who wouldn't sit in circle time, threw the balls at other kids in the ball pit and had (several) tantrums. I stood there-the teacher who had prided herself on class control-with NO control over her own child! I felt defeated and looked at the other moms, silently pleading for some pity, maybe even some reassurance that they knew my pain. But no, I was only met with the type of look I had given moms in my parent conferences. The kind of look that says, "Get a grip on your child, who is the parent here?"
Am I giving up though? Am I waving the white flag? Heck no! I plan to push on, we will be going back to our gym class next week and my daughter will throw herself into the ball pit with gusto and I will try to appreciate that her joy in life's simplicities like a ball pit is what I love about her the most. And this time, instead of looking at the other moms with a look of defeat, I will smile and think-my Teeny is having fun! That is what being a 17 mth old is all about! Some days I am the disheveled mom who doesn't know what time it is let alone the date. Other days I'm the mom who is mostly put together and even managing to put on some make-up. No matter which mom I am on any given day, I would never change my decision to be home with my daughter. Tantrums and all, this is an amazing time for my girl and me.
Until next time, safe travels and lots of love!
